"You could be happy..."

Well, here it goes. I begin this blog by asking myself why I am even doing so in the first place. Self...why? I suppose the answer is to heal. I suppose it's come down to if I spend as much time as possible doing SOMETHING...I won't spend time feeling sorry for myself. It's not like this sort of thing has never happened to someone else. Someone you were so sure of...isn't so sure of you...and things fall apart. But there's still a chance...and you live your life hanging on to that chance.

I've compared myself over the past 5 months to a variety of songs, fictional characters, and imaginations...from Edward and Bella in New Moon...to the song "Flightless Bird" by Iron and Wine...hence my favorite penguin, Opus, to the right.

I received some excellent advice on forgetting from my friend since preschool..."Just do what you did before...and don't forget that you're not alone. We all have your back...and WE are there until the end." So I'm trying my best to follow that advice...because it's all I have.

Today...rather tonight began the cleaning stage. Delete the AIM...unmark songs so they can't come up in shuffle...even putting away certain movies.

Let's not get off on the wrong foot, blog. I'm still a fabulous person, even if I feel broken. A junior at a famous engineering university (which I don't study BTW :D) can't have it TOO bad, right? Just returned from Christmas vacation. It was nice to have 2 1/2 weeks to lounge about, hang out with the brother, and piddle about outside and in the "gym." I've been throwing myself head first into work since I've returned though. I'm enjoying my job at the newspaper (advertising sales). I really want to prove myself this semester...personal matters definitely got to me last semester. That really angers me, BTW...this was supposed to be my year. Oh well..."it doesn't matter, it's in the past." :) I'm a Disney fanatic.

Let me brag on my fantastic life for a bit before I quit for tonight. I'm originally from an Indiana suburb outside of Cincinnati, OH. I have a beautiful family...my Dad(left), Mom, brother, and two dogs. My friends are amazing...something I don't credit them with enough. I've been trying to make up to them some of the time I've spent too engaged in other things. My best friend is currently AWOL...maybe someday he'll get a clue. I love him either way, no matter how much our situation hurts me.

I've grown up a bit since this picture. 20 now...21 this August. Typical college kid trying to figure things out, while scared shitless at the same time.

Wow, this writing thing is great. I forgot how much I love this.

"More than anything, I want to see you, girl...take a glorious bite out of the whole world."